Famous Quotes – Inspirational Quotes

You will find that the mere resolve not to be useless, and the honest desire to help other people, will, in the quickest and delicatest ways, improve yourself.
– John Ruskin

Quotes – Famous Quotes

Quotes – Famous Quotes

  

I think quotes are very dangerous things.

- Kate Bush quotes

FOR LEXOPHILES (LOVERS OF WORDS):

FOR LEXOPHILES (LOVERS OF WORDS):
………………………………………………………………
1. A bicycle can’t stand alone; it is two tired.
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2. A will is a dead giveaway
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3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
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4. A backward poet writes inverse.
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5. In a democracy it’s your vote that counts; in feudalism, it’s your
Count that votes.
………………………………………………………………
6. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
………………………………………………………………
7. If you don’t pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
………………………………………………………………
8. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I’ll show you A-flat
miner.
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9. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
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10. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
………………………………………………………………
11. A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulted in Linoleum
Blownapart.
………………………………………………………………
12. You are stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.
………………………………………………………………
13. Local Area Network in Australia : The LAN down under.
………………………………………………………………
14. He broke into song because he couldn’t find the key.
………………………………………………………………
15. A calendar’s days are numbered.
………………………………………………………………
16. A lot of money is tainted: ‘Taint yours, and ‘taint mine.
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17. A boiled egg is hard to beat.
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18. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
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19. A plateau is a high form of flattery.
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20.A short fortuneteller who escaped from prison: a small medium at
large.
………………………………………………………………
21. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the
end.
………………………………………………………………
22. When you’ve seen one shopping center you’ve seen a mall.
………………………………………………………………
23. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.
………………………………………………………………
24. When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she’d dye.
………………………………………………………………
25. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
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26. Santa’s helpers are subordinate clauses.
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27. Acupuncture: a jab well done.
………………………………………………………………
28. Diarrhea:  hardening of the farteries.
………………………………………………………………
29. Difference between an elephant fart and a saloon:  A saloon is a
barroom.
An elephant fart is a ba-rroom!

Happy Quotes – Famous Quotes

The happy people are those who are producing something; the bored people are those who are  consuming much and producing nothing.- William Ralph Inge

Friends Quotes

Friends Quotes

Friends are God's apology for relations.
– Hugh Kingsmill

Useless Sports Quotes

Sports Quotes

It's nice to hear from a fellow Groin Puller! It's a dying sport.  I've been Pulling Groin since I was 12 and got quite good at it. However, I never really had the drive to go professional and now I just Pull Groin once a week if I'm lucky."

"With that in mind, stay hard and fast. There may be no 'I' in team, but there is an 'I' in Groin and that's really what it's all about."
One Useless Brother

Smart Quotes

Smart Quotes 

When I was little, I thought I was smart. Oh boy, did I ever. Turns out I wasn't. I was simply a smart ass. There's a difference.
Useless Wonder

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