Funny Quotes

Funny Quotes

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils
– Louis Hector Berlioz

Funny Quotes

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.
– Robert Bloch

Quote of the Day …

Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.

– George Burns

Funny Quotes

All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.
– Spike Milligan

More Funny Quotes 

Capitalism is the unequal distribution of wealth.
Socialism is the equal distribution of poverty.
– Winston Churchill

Funny Quotes – Joan Rivers Quotes

Ebay Video

Totally funny e-bay video – sounds like Weird Al is at it again.

A quote from the song:

Tell me why (I need another pet rock)
Tell me why (I got that Alf alarm clock)
Tell me why (I bid on Shatner’s old toupee)
They had it on eBay

Father’s Day Quotes

It is easier for a father to have children than for children to have a real father.
– Pope John XXIII

My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard.

Mother would come out and say, “You’re tearing up the grass.”

“We’re not raising grass,” Dad would reply. “We’re raising boys.”

– Harmon Killebrew

Father! – to God himself we cannot give a holier name.
– William Wordsworth

Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
– Red Buttons

Search Famous Quotes

Sherman made the terrible discovery that men make about their fathers sooner or later… that the man before him was not an aging father but a boy, a boy much like himself, a boy who grew up and had a child of his own and, as best he could, out of a sense of duty and, perhaps love, adopted a role called Being a Father so that his child would have something mythical and infinitely important: a Protector, who would keep a lid on all the chaotic and catastrophic possibilities of life.
– Tom Wolfe, The Bonfire of the Vanities

Lots more Famous Quotes and Famous Sayings

Friend Quotes

Friend Quotes

A friend is one who sees through you and still enjoys the view. — Wilma Askinas (1926- ) American Author


A Good Time Was Had By All!!!

A Good Time Was Had By All!!!

“Down in Washington, D.C., is the big annual Easter egg hunt they have on the White House lawn. No surprise here — the $187 billion egg coloring contract went to Halliburton. The kids are all running around hunting for the Easter eggs. And periodically, they’ll pick up some of Cheney’s shell casings. The kids did a tremendous job. The kids found hundreds and hundreds of eggs. And I’m thinking, ‘Hell, let’s let them look for bin Laden’.”

– David Letterman