Funny Quotes

Funny Quotes

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils
– Louis Hector Berlioz

Funny Quotes

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.
– Robert Bloch

Sacrifices for a Happy Marriage

Marriage Quotes

My wife and I know we have to make a few sacrifices for our marriage to work, but the animal shelter people are beginning to get a little suspicious.

– Jerry Embry

Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns

Famous Quotes

Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.

– Fred Allen

Famous Quotes Rita Rudner

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can’t
decide to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives.

– Rita Rudner

Famous Jokes

Funny Quotes – Money Quotes

Money won’t buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem.
– Bill Vaughan

Funny Quotes – Money Quotes

Sarah Marshall Quotes

Sarah Marshall Quotes

Some funny quotes from Sarah Marshall ( Sally Marshall ) in the Chicago Tribune.

Maybe I should start a support group. After all, the Sarah Marshalls of the world have rights too. Not all of us suck.
– Sarah Marshall

And someone should have considered the feelings of those Sarah Marshalls who really do look fat in their jeans
– Sarah Marshall

I’ve always wanted my name in lights—even if it’s the name I’m only called by credit card customer-service reps.
– Sarah Marshall

… the thrill of seeing my name in lights is gone. Now, everywhere I go, I see signs that say things like “You suck Sarah Marshall,” “I’m so over you Sarah Marshall,” “You do look fat in those jeans Sarah Marshall” and

“My mom always hated you Sarah Marshall.”
– Sarah Marshall

Sally Marshall ( Sarah Marshall ) is a freelance writer living in Manhattan.

Funny Quotes

Funny Quotes

You’ve got to be optimist to be a Democrat, and you’ve got to be a humorist to stay one.

– Will Rogers – Good Gulf radio show (24 June 1934)